Rewriting Your Narrative

Everybody has a story. Our stories consist of various chapters that span the course of our lives. The chapters range from gloomy to joyful, traumatic to transformational, and everything in between. Our stories are what constitute who we think we are, and they are often what determine how we treat ourselves and others.

Our formative life stories usually become entrenched – whether we like it or not – by adolescence, as we begin to orient our psyches around dominant memories. These powerful, self-defining narratives shape our internal selves and our outer identities through our interpretation of their meanings. We instinctively develop narrative scripts that we follow to predict, evaluate, respond to and regulate our lives. When we encounter a challenge we will refer to our predominant narrative for guidance. If our stories tell us we are not equipped for a challenge, we will likely become disempowered. If our narratives tell us we are resilient, we are more likely to see the gifts and opportunities in challenges and respond with courage.

A powerful approach to improving our outlook is to rewrite our predominant narratives. This process is often best worked through with the help of a qualified counsellor. A growing body of research has found that, whether out loud or on paper, reviewing past setbacks and reactions can help us come to terms with who we have been and better envision who we want to be. Reframing helps us see events as opportunities or waypoints instead of the end of the road. Rewriting our stories requires that we take an honest look at where we might be blaming other people or circumstances for the way life has turned out. For example, perhaps we are still bitter about a relationship that didn’t work out or holding on to a grudge for a promotion we didn’t get at work. If we find that we are harboring resentment, we can ask ourselves what we learned from the person or situation in question. As we become more adept at finding the opportunities in every challenge, we will begin to look at past experiences in a new light, and can begin to rewrite our stories to encompass a more balance sense of who we are and what we are capable of.

Reference

Freeman, M. (2016). Rewriting the self: History, memory, narrative. New York, NY: Routledge.