Setting boundaries is difficult no matter who you are or what you do. On the flip side, respecting a boundary can also be tough, and even feel a bit like an attack.
But, it’s important for clients to know that counsellors set boundaries because they care, not because they don’t! To give clients the best possible care, counsellors need work-life balance as much as anyone else (perhaps even a little more).
It can help a bit to understand why exactly counsellors set the rules that they do.
What Do Boundaries Look Like?
Boundaries are more than a request, as they also include a consequence.
For example: If you follow my personal account on social media, I will not follow you back.
When you begin therapy, the counsellor should discuss the following:
- What methods of contact are best to reach them
- What types of communication are okay outside of sessions
- The expected duration of sessions
- A contingency plan for emergencies, if needed
- Any other policies regarding cancellations, communications, and sessions.
If you’re unsure, ask! Most people (especially therapists) are happy to clarify what they’re okay with and what they’re not.
To continue, let’s discuss why this is necessary in the first place.
Burnout
Therapists are susceptible to burnout, a condition characterized by fatigue and changes to mood. There are many ways that counsellors are taught to prevent this, such as:
- Engaging in self care
- Maintaining physical health
- Practicing mindfulness
- And setting healthy boundaries
Even for the most experienced psychologists, switching out of “therapist mode” at the end of the day is tough, as counsellors care so much about their clients. However, one step that aids this is clearly setting and maintaining boundaries.
Ethics and Standards of Practice
Psychologists must follow a set of standards set by Canada, and the province they practice in. This monitors the practice and ensures clients are treated fairly and ethically.
One such standard is that therapists must watch and maintain their own mental health. It’s not enough to simply take time off when they are burnt out, they must actively work to prevent it. By setting this rule, it encourages therapists to show up for their clients and give 100% to each session.
It Protects the Safe Space
The therapy room (or virtual room) should be a professional, yet comfortable, environment where clients feel they can express themselves freely.
If lines become blurred between therapist, friends, coworkers, etc. it can take away from this safety. For instance, if your therapist were to treat you more like a friend, you may feel obligated to keep certain things from them to protect their feelings, or to come to more sessions than you’re comfortable with. Alternatively, your therapist could do the same, by not pointing out problematic patterns.
It Models Healthy Relationships
Among many other things, the therapeutic relationship is meant to be an example of a healthy dynamic. One where both client and therapist are comfortable confronting each other.
Many individuals come to therapy to work on communication skills and strengthen their relationships. Counsellors like to show this by example: They set a boundary without malicious intent, and the way they do it can be copied.
For those who struggle with receiving this type of communication, it’s a great way to expose yourself to it, and learn to work through the complex emotions that come with it.
In summary, if your therapist sets a boundary with you, it is to give the best possible care. It’s totally okay to feel upset about it, and discuss this with your counsellor!
For more information about communication, relationships, and boundaries, book a free 20-minute consultation here.
