Anxiety and related disorders are one of the most prominent in today’s society. There are many reasons it could be on the rise, and various causes for developing an anxiety disorder.
However, one facet is an increasing tendency to avoid discomfort. With short-form media content like Instagram reels, Tiktok, and Youtube shorts, we now have the ability to simply swipe away from anything we don’t like. Whether it’s too boring, saddening, or frightening, a click will rid us of this discomfort.
While this is not necessarily bad on a small scale, when this method is applied to other components of life, it can become a problem. It’s easy to fall into the trap of avoiding that job interview, that confrontational conversation, or staying away from that hike your friends have been bugging you about.
The Avoidant Cycle
In simplest terms, when we perform a behaviour, there is typically some response from the environment or others around us. The response dictates if we do that behaviour more or less often. Say, for example, you open the fridge. If you see your favourite food, you feel happy. This serves as reinforcement for this behaviour; you’re likely to open the fridge more. But, say you touch a hot stove. You quickly learn that this is painful, and likely won’t touch it again.
Some anxiety cycles work the same way. You feel a negative emotion regarding a certain situation. In response, you avoid it, which makes you feel better, in the short term. Long term, you learn to keep avoiding that situation, and the cycle continues.
So How Do You Push Yourself Safely?
Embracing some uncertainty and fear does not mean you should push yourself to do things you absolutely do not want to do. Maintaining your boundaries is still important.
Ultimately, the decision is up to you, to figure out what you think you can handle, and what is so far out of your comfort zone you wouldn’t gain anything from it. But, to help, here are some questions to ask if you find yourself avoiding a situation:
- What is the biggest reason I do not want to do this?
- Do the risks truly outweigh the benefits?
- Am I scared because it’s new, or because it’s dangerous?
- Have I avoided situations like this before? Did I feel regretful after?
- Will I gain something from this experience?
Exposure Therapy
One of the most common treatments for anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorders is exposure therapy. This involves slowly introducing the individual to the experience that frightens them. Therapists take steps to ensure the client has calming techniques to use throughout the experience, and that they do not go too fast.
Mini exposures can help build your stress tolerance in the same way. You don’t need to do something that will make you pass out from fear. But, maybe trying that coffee shop you’ve been avoiding because you don’t understand the menu, would be a good place to start.
If you are struggling with anxiety or daily nervousness, our counsellors are ready to help. Reach out here for a free 20-minute consultation.
Disclaimer: This is not official medical advice. If you are suffering from anxiety that impacts your daily life, please seek professional assistance.
Reference:
Hofmann, S. G., & Hay, A. C. (2018). Rethinking avoidance: Toward a balanced approach to avoidance in treating anxiety disorders. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 55(55), 14–21. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.janxdis.2018.03.004
