Why You’re Not Getting Better in Therapy (And What to Do)

You took the step towards better mental health by attending therapy. You’ve been going for a while now, yet haven’t noticed the effects. Before giving up, consider these factors. 

 

It Hasn’t Been Long Enough

Just like growing a muscle, or learning a new skill, therapy requires long-term dedication. The length of time it takes to see noticeable differences varies greatly depending on the issue complexity, session frequency, and homework consistency. However, 4-6 months is a good baseline for starting to see some subtle changes. It’s important to remember that it often doesn’t happen all at once. Changes will come slowly, and progress won’t always be linear. 

What Can You Do?

Talk about an approximate timeline with your therapist. Discuss what milestones they want to see after a certain amount of time. Try to reflect on any minor changes you’ve noticed in your life, such as a slight increase in mood, positive thinking becoming a bit easier, or healthier habits starting to emerge. 

 

You and/or Your Therapist Aren’t 100% Sure of Your Goals

It’s okay not to have a clear direction when initially beginning therapy, but after a few sessions, you and your therapist should have some clear, attainable goals in mind. Otherwise, meetings may bounce around from issue to issue, not providing enough time to address a specific problem thoroughly. 

What Can You Do?

If you know of anyone going through a similar circumstance, ask if they’re comfortable sharing what their objectives were when working through it. You may want to write down the areas of your life most affected by the issue(s). This can narrow down the scope of your sessions, allowing you and your therapist to set attainable goals.

Some common objectives are:

• • Developing new coping skills
  • Processing past traumas
  • Enhancing self-esteem
  • Reducing symptoms of mental illnesses

 

The Type of Therapy isn’t Aligning

There can be some trial-and-error required to find the type of therapy that works for you. Different kinds address various issues, or tend to work better for a given mental health problem.

What Can You Do?

Talk to your therapist about the different options, what they are typically used for and what work they entail. Assess if it’s something you can realistically see yourself putting effort into. Some techniques to ask about are:

• • Talk therapy
  • Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
  • Cognitive Processing Therapy
  • Art therapy
  • Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing

 

Fear of Change

It’s easy to become comfortable with discomfort. When a particular frame of mind is all you’ve known, embracing change can be challenging. This could mean subconsciously not engaging as much as you can, withholding important information, or avoiding homework given by the therapist.

What Can You Do?

Remind yourself of why you went to therapy in the first place. Often, it is because of a past event, a pattern of thinking, or a mental health issue affecting your life negatively. Discuss some strategies with your therapist to practice embracing change. 

 

You’re With the Wrong Therapist

Sometimes, you just need to try a new counsellor. If you and your therapist’s personalities don’t quite match, or you don’t feel comfortable sharing with them, progress will be difficult. Additionally, they may not be specialized in your specific issue or with the techniques you wish to try. 

What Can You Do?

If there are immediate red flags, violations, or boundary overstepping, it’s okay to find a new therapist quickly. However, if you experience some discomfort opening up initially, it may be beneficial to stick around for a few more sessions. It’s challenging to speak to a complete stranger, and it can take time to feel at ease around them. If you do need to find a new therapist, check out our how-to guide here. 

If you’re curious about what types and techniques of therapy we offer, schedule a consultation here.